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The meek aint gona inherit shit,Cause I'll take it
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2007|09:23 pm] |
evvvvverytime i think about it, it makes me sad.
its been 2 and a half months and it still hurts. grrrreat. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2007|08:51 pm] |
i wish i could say i've moved on.
probably the worst part about this is i havent been able to even be relatively interested in other girls since we broke up. theres just nothing there. what a vicious cycle.
i think i dashed any hope of getting back together again, but is that even good for either of us anymore? shes obviously moved on somewhat. i've been doing fine. not good, not bad, just fine. i just miss her a lot. not even a lot, more than anything.
this summer could very well suck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|03:25 pm] |
i miss how things were so much. it hurts so much everytime i think about it.
this is horrible and terrible. this feeling is so painful. we were for each other, were made for each other. why isnt that enough?
i wish i could go back. i wish i could've changed her. this is so fucking painful. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2007|09:06 pm] |
this still hasn't quite resonated with me yet.
except it did hit me on the plane ride just exactly what she did.
i don't think i've felt quite like this ever before. i hope i never do again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|05:19 pm] |
this is not what i want. i want go back and pretend like everything is okay. i want her to call me and tell me that everything is fine and that we can get back together again.
but its not gonna happen. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2006|12:49 pm] |
i want to go back more than anything.
i have a lot of things i need to figure out and they need to be figured out soon. this is just miserable. its only gotten worse since we said goodbye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2006|03:38 pm] |
signs. its all about the signs.
this does not bode well for the immediate future. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|01:32 am] |
wow.
its going to take some time for this to hit me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|02:30 am] |
i feel lost in every respect imaginable. school, running, relationship, family, friends, even myself. everything is sort of a big messy blur that doesn't make a lot of sense. for some things, its better that way- i like changing into somebody different, evolving into a better person. but other times i just wish for some permanency.
i had one anchor, but she's 1000 miles away and, despite that distance, thinks we're too close. thats not even beginning to speak about how i fucked up so badly, even if it was long ago. its taken me 5 months to admit everything. what the fuck is that? why would i hurt somebody who i honestly love and cherish like that? i could've dealt with this a long time ago, but i guess i was always afraid of losing her. in the end though i fucked myself and her over. i'm glad i realized what i've done was wrong and that she knows this, but at the same time i don't feel any less like an asshole. i've never been so mad at myself. i've rarely ever felt this way, but i can't help it. i'm lucky to have a girl like emily.
so some good change has definitely happened. i just wish she really knew how much i love her.
</emo>. |
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| ooo soo... |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|07:17 pm] |
aight, so heres the dealio for my project. its actually similar to noah's:
i'm studying the cognitive effects of common drugs that teenagers take, like ADD/ADHD-medications (Aderol, etc.), anti-depressants, and other standard drugs (including caffiene). heres the requirements if you'd like to volunteer to be apart of the study:
- must take medications/ingest large amounts of standard drugs at least 4 times a week
- must be willing to keep a log of everything ingested
- must be willing to do standard cognitive tests (reflex tests, memory tests, etc.) 5-7 times over an 8 week period
i'll compensate your time with cookies and a small monetary amount every test-time. all information is completely confidential, you've got my word, yo.
if you have any questions or would like to join, feel free to leave a comment or drop me a line at 909-8471 or send me an email at andrewstrait@yahoo.com.
much thanks, ya'll. |
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| wanna be in a study? |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|09:25 pm] |
so for the next 3 months for bio, our grade is based on a study/experiment that we design and carry out. my brother and i are both doing studies involving a large subject size. i'm still developing my project, but noah already has his figured out. my brother is studying the effects of narcotics/alcohol on cognitive ability, especially in teenagers, and he wants me to ask around for any volunteers willing to be apart of the study. heres the requirements to be a part of the study:
-either drink, smoke, or do any other drug 3 or more times a week
-must be willing to take cognitive tests (like memory games, sample SAT questions, etc.) 5-7 times over an 8 week period (food will be provided, oooo!)
-must be willing to keep a log of everything you're consuming for a high (including pain killers, mood enhancers, etc.)
if you decide to join, you will be rewarded with a small but satisfying reward. its money, don't worry.
FYI: all information and data is confidential and will not be viewed by anyone other than Noah, who is a trustworthy guy as far as brothers go
if you're interested in joining, DON'T LEAVE A POST HERE, call 909-8477 and leave your name and number. ask some friends if they'd be interested, too, it'd be helpful.
i'll update later in the week on what my study will be on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2005|12:25 am] |
friends only, bitches. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2005|07:05 pm] |
my hard drive got wiped along with all my music...
FUCK.
thats over 1,600 songs right there, not including my old punk music burned on those 12 CDs that i FUCKING LOST. i have no music and this blows.
school is okay. im not really ready for the workload, but i can feel my brain snapping back into school mode. its hard though. and it kinda sucks not being able to hang out much with people. plus i have to stop partying soon and start running again until june. its definetly that 4-5 month sobriety stretch that just kills me.
i might take my brother's job on friday nights at madison park cafe. this is awesome because 1. i can finally get some money to buy a drum set and 2. ill get free food. fuck yeayuh.
we got a used car today. its a 97' camry and it smells like cigarettes. im glad we have another car though, even though the insurance paid for 1/12 of it. i dont really want to drive it though. i've started to prefer walking anyways.
i've had this cough for almost 2 weeks now. i think i might go to the doctor in a couple days if it doesnt get better. oh, plus, im joining a gym. haha, yes, like one of those Gold Gym things, with a personal trainer named Chip who outweighs me by 200 lbs. and everything. score! |
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| ohhh maannn |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|03:47 pm] |
i got reemed hardcore. this really sucks.
snoqualmie SUCKED. i do not want to teach sunday atall. but at least i can party in the nightime.
i have my phone session today at 5. sorta worried. tests tomorrow...but i get the next 2 mondays off completely! WOOT! |
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| idiot... |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|12:31 pm] |
the past two days were pretty crazy. i fucked up bigtime though.
lesson learned: never date me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|09:25 am] |
i fucking hate those kind of dreams where you wake up all happy and overjoyed, and then you realize it was just a dream, and in reality, its 8 in the morning and your dog pissed the foot of your bed in your sleep. motherfucker...
im going to snoqualmie pass for 2 days for christine's b-day bashamaranza. should be fun, except parkers not going. laaaaame. but last night was pretty killer, got to meet parker's cousins who are my age, except they look like they're 10 years old. saw laser floyd with a ton of people, it was pretty fun, then back to my house to watch bottle rocket.
sudafed has saved my life yet again. thank god for over the counter drugs.
now i'm off to watch some OC while eating apple pie. dude, i have to say, this show fucking rocks. big ups to the c-crew, claire, casey, and caitlin, for letting me borrow it. i'd like to think i'm as badass as ryan, but i dunno, i could settle for badass as seth. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|11:08 pm] |
"okay, so we've got a dilemma and we need your opinon on this..."
"Aight, whats up?"
"so...theres this girl...and shes not the hottest girl in the world...but we've been deprived of, you know, the love juices for quite a long time now, and so, we were wondering...would it be weird if we...you know, like, tag teamed her?"
"...uh...is she chunky?"
"not really"
"go for it."
that 3 minute phone call made my christmas a bajillion times better. god i love you guys. |
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| just a test |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|08:40 pm] |
JONO PECK SUUUUCKS, HE SUCKS HE SUCKS HE SUUUUUCKS, SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUUUUCKS.
JONO JONO JONO PECK PECK PECK, SUUUUUUUUUCKS TIMES INFINITE.
the trap is set... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|05:54 pm] |
motherfucker...
please tell me i'm not getting sick right now! |
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